By James D.

IT FINALLY HAPPENED, what scientists have been predictin’ for years. Howdy, I’m Gaston Z. Galley. I’m here with my brother Canston with some BIG NEWS. At 10:43 PM on September 11th, 3456, scientists launched a remote controlled machine to Uranus. When they checked on it the next day, you ain’t gonna believe what they saw!

So, what’s your guess? It was some flyin’, lyin’, spankin’, tankin’, lettuce!!!

You darn said it, brother, Hey y’all, I’m Canston P. Galley. One more thing, when the lettuce was attackin’ Uranus, it caused aliens to run out of their hidin’ spots.

So now we know that aliens are real!! The lettuce may be comin’ to earth soon! Here’s Jacob Kutchinsty:

Canston: “Was the lettuce remote controlled or did they run on their own?”

Jacob: “I don’t think they were remote controlled or they ran on their own, they were alien lettuce.”

Gaston: “ Will the lettuce ever reach earth?”

Jacob: “ Yes, in about one minute.”

Canston: “ How many aliens were harmed or killed by lettuce?”

Jacob: “50,000,000,000.”

So that about wraps up our story! Join us again for some more amazing news stories at GALLEYNEWS.COM!

James D. is a Level 1 student who has a giant duck collection.

Publishing work by students at Alpha, a K-12 school in Austin, TX. Learn more at