Application to Catbirds College

By Arden A.

APPLICATION

Dear Catbirds College,

My life is like a piece of toast because sometimes it can be painful (like you’re in a toaster), but what matters the most is when it’s good after the pain. You put the bread in the toaster. That’s the easy part. When the toaster gets hot, those are the hard times. Examples of hard times are when you fail an essay or get disappointed in yourself. When you take the toast out of the toaster after a while, it smells good. Those are good times, like if you go to Disneyland. There are always ways to make your life better even if your toast is burnt, like if you put jelly on it.

If you know me, you know I don’t give up (unless I’m using Freckle). Do you have Freckle at Catbirds? If you do, I’m not coming. Even so, if you don’t accept me, I will eat all of your students like toast with jelly.

When I’m older, I want to be a gymnast. I know you have a gym, so I will try my best to make the team. I am best at bars and worst at beam. When I was seven, I had a gym in my house with a bar and tons of mats. I know if you gave me a chance, I could do a good job. Remember, if you don’t accept me, you will be soggy toast.

— Arden A.

RESPONSE

Dear Arden A.,

Please do not threaten our students. Like you said, we do have a gym, but it takes the best gymnasts to get on the team. We do not use the app Freckle, but you should never give up, no matter what. Your friend Shelby M. sent me her request, and I will get back to her. I want you to know that I loved your toast poem. I’m so sorry to say that I will not accept you because I do not like how you threatened to eat our students, even though you were probably kidding.

— Catbirds College

Arden A. is a Level 2 student who is 11 years old and likes to eat certain foods.